On Being a Sister

It has been a tough week, and my being MIA since last Saturday is proof enough that there are indeed important things that took my attention. Work’s been crazy. On Thursday night I wasn’t able to go home because I got all my tasks in the office done. Workaholic week, I guess. And it seems that it’ll be like that until next month but I will try harder this time to sneak a few moments to update.

September 17th is Nanay Letty’s (dad’s mom) 78th birthday and we had some sort of double celebration here at home because the next day is another cousin’s birthday too. Most of the relatives came over so even if I only had an hour of sleep, I had to stay up until around 9:30 PM when I finally gave in to my eyes’ desire to fall into deep slumber.

Spending time with my bed and the pillows everywhere was love. So just imagine how annoyed I was when Mom woke me up at 12 midnight just because according to her, I “HAD” to talk to my sister, Faye, about some serious matters. I was like “Come on Mom, can’t it wait until tomorrow?” Apparently, it can’t. Here’s to give you a quick background:

Modesty aside, being in the honor roll is a trend in the family. And Faye didn’t disappoint as she was the class topnotcher since first grade. Now she’s in third year high and for the first time in her academic career she shared the “First Honor” title with another student. Mom was surprised, and with what they call mother’s instinct, she found out that this is attributable to 2 things: excessive involvement in extra-curriculars… and her having a boyfriend.

Being the one who supports Faye in terms of school finances, I was given the difficult task of ironing things out. With Mom still nagging non-stop, I found Faye in their room finding it hard to breathe due to too much crying. At that moment, four words were continually running in my head: Been there, done that.

 
I know exactly how it feels. Believe it or not, I was in the same situation ages ago, only I was a high school freshie when it happened. And mine was worse because from being the batch valedictorian in elementary, I slipped into Top 9 the succeeding year. So I guess my (furious) Mom was right, I am in the best position to do this counseling.

I’m proud that even if I am a cranky older sister and scold them most of the time for their silly ways, I am collected and rational when it comes to issues like this. I asked Faye what went wrong and through her sobs she replied that it had nothing to do with Throy (the boyfriend). It was actually due to her being excused from her classes time and again to attend to org work and other non-academic stuff, let alone the fact that she’s been absent for a week due to sore eyes. And the guy who shared the top spot with her was exclusively attentive to scholastics.

I told her, first and foremost, even if it breaks my heart too, that she should end her relationship with Throy. It wouldn’t be easy, but right now that’s the best thing that she can do. I know how painful it will be for her, but I said that if the guy really loves her, he’ll still be there when she’s already recovered academically.

I told her that we can never ever change the way our Mom thinks. She loathes the idea of being in a relationship while still studying. She has this strong conviction that boys are a distraction. And although I personally disagree because Jhay has been my inspiration since 2nd year college, I had to ask Faye to stay away from her young love, at least for the mean time. I told her not to try to hide things from me, and I got the assurance that I needed so I went on.

I told her that she needs to balance academics and extra-curricular activities, that she should learn how to do things in moderation. I know how important club officerships are, but she should keep in mind that the main arena is still inside the classroom. She can be excused from time to time, but she should be responsible enough to make up for what she’s missed.

I told her that now that the “other First Honor” knows that he can keep up with her, he’ll be more aggressive. With that she should work thrice as hard. She said that the guy is a wide reader and she is not, but I told her that she can be anything that she wants to be. She only needs to focus on her studies to prove to Mom that come 2nd quarter, she’ll be able to get the top spot, this time exclusively.

I told her that overconfidence can ruin her, and that I am saying that from experience. She said that classmates and friends used to call her “the unbeatable” and now we both know that she isn’t anymore, but that doesn’t make her less intelligent. I told her that I believe that she can do better, and that she needs to keep the same conviction.

I told her to lessen going out with friends on weekends, and to learn how to identify good company from bad. I told her that there is a big probability that Mom will think she’ll meet up with Throy even if she’s really doing a school project, so she should be ready to do what it takes to convince her otherwise.

I told her, now with tears rolling down my cheeks, that among my regrets is not doing my best to be the high school valedictorian, so she should not let that happen to her too. She’s gotten far and now isn’t the time to back off. I told her that her dreams are already within her reach, and that a little more perseverance can take her just where she wants to be.

I think I have said all that I needed to, so I just asked her to reiterate the main points as we put the conversation to a close. And when I told her to go to sleep, I was surprised when she hugged me saying

“Thank you Ate, ikaw lang talaga ang nakakaintindi sakin”

and that’s when I really burst into tears. I hugged her back, hugged her tight enough to let her know that she’s loved and that everything’s gonna be alright.

After that, she laid down and tried to put herself to sleep. I once again asked her to stop crying already as I got up and headed to my room. In the past days I kept thinking about what to blog after a long absence but I realized I really need not think too hard. Blog topics really come when you least expect it. I just hope this sufficed for a comeback :)

And if by chance she's reading this...

Faye, thank you so much for making me feel that I’m doing a good job being a sister. By the end of the year, make Mom and Dad proud when you go up the stage and claim that gold medal that is rightfully yours.